K-pop's Lost Fangirl

(EDIT (5 January, 2021: I actually made a video of this post – over a year later. I can’t believe it, but if interested then the video is below.)

So, I’m about a week late to the party, I know I know. The news broke out last Tuesday over how the youngest member of BTS aka Jungkook aka the mascot of this blog, is dating a tattoo artist after a “a picture of a picture on a phone that was apparently taken from CCTV”.

Well, of course, ARMY, BTS’s fandom, went into a tizzy especially on Twitter where some fans were especially upset over their beloved baby maknae being caught back hugging a woman who wasn’t them is very hot and not the type that many thought Jungkook would go for. Clearly, Jungkook would go for a woman close to the Korean ideal, can’t be less than perfection for the all mighty Golden Maknae as he is so very appropriately named.

If you’re not the baby-dolled up Korean girl Jungkook was supposed to be into, then you at least had to be IU levels of K-pop badassery, if not IU herself.

But fear not, ladies and gentlemen who fear your beloved maknae has been taken off the market. For I believe Jungkook isn’t really Jungkook at all.

He’s an imposter.

Okay, hear me out. My suspicions of this maknae all started out on his birthday which was a few weeks ago when this image came out:

I don’t know if it’s the hair or the way the cheeks look a bit puffy (look, I’m blind to this kinda stuff, okay?)or the filter or the angle or the photographer (Jimin?) just doing this boy dirty but this picture don’t look right. One of my friends took a look at the picture and said that it was indeed Jungkook, but she admitted that she really recognized him by his eyes, but all I saw in those eyes was the emptiness of being drained by overworking and the weight of 20+ million fans–some of whom may or may not be crazy. This doesn’t even include the highly anticipated Saudi Arabian concert to be held next month. You can see just how excited he is to perform in such an exclusive country where the women and minorities have special rights they must follow or face special treatment that not even the men of that country have to endure. Sounds great, right? Right…?

Funnily enough, the more important aspects of the concert next month seems to be overlooked by a lot of ARMYs, but I guess they have more important things to worry about such as the imposter that is posing as their perfect maknae.

This man, Hash Swan.

Initially, when the above CCTV phone picture of a picture came out, fans of BTS claimed that the man hugging the woman in the above picture wasn’t Jungkook, but was Hash Swan, a 24-year old rapper who was just minding his own business before he was dragged into this mess. Though he clarified it wasn’t him, some fans still went on to bash him for even daring to believe he looked remotely like Jungkook.

Well, from what I can see, he doesn’t quite resemble the man in that birthday photo above, but apparently it doesn’t matter. Because as long as that man who is hugging that woman and thus crushing the millions of wet dreams of girls and boys who’ve fallen in love with Jeon Jungkook of BTS is NOT Jeon Jungkook, then all is well in the world.

Someone has to take the fall, right?

Personally, I don’t believe Hash Swan is the imposter. The dude is just trying to live his life peacefully rapping and making music. I don’t know much about the guy but major respect for trying to calm down both BTS fans and his own fans from fighting with words that sounded surprisingly rational and cool headed for a person in his position. He has apparently moved on, but have the fans? Have I?

This is one of the latest photos taken from BTS’s arrival at the airport as they’re now away in New Zealand or something filming extra content that no one really asked for. Here, we see “Jungkook” looking like a sad puppy pre-dating scandal as if he already knew what was coming. My timeline is a bit muddled but I believe airport arrival was before he got wrapped up in this dating mess.

Actually, I looked into it and apparently, he could have foreseen this coming as I’ve found evidence. I told you, I’m on top of this conspiracy game.

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These images were from the latest V live Jungkook has done as of most recently. Some fan asked if he believed in destiny which he explains in a sort of ramble. However, the short answer is yes, yes he does and he seems to have psychic powers through deja vu dreams or whatever to help him lead the way. I swear, these aren’t fake subs. If you want to verify then go ahead and check out video (skip to 44:00). Guess it didn’t help him avoid the whole dating rumor mess unless that’s what he wanted?

Though keep in mind, this is the same V live he had a bottle of wine to drink from, probably to handle and cope with dealing with the multitude of fans that stream through the chatbox. So yes, he may be drunk despite denying it like 3-4 times through the video. But I swear, he’s most likely probably not that drunk.

Still, at the end of the day, who really cares? Whether or not Jungkook is an impostor or the real deal, dating or not dating–it’s pretty irrelevant. It’s not like you personally know him well enough to be like: this is very un-Jungkook like, he’d never date a girl like that, or that birthday photo really can’t be him cause he looks too rough to be my Jungkook.

Please, just let the man live in peace and continue to be the mascot of this blog, okay? He’s only been mascotting for three weeks and this happens. I was already upset when I found out the news since he wasn’t fulfilling his duties of being my blog mascot. Tsk tsk. He definitely needs a remainder of the rules but I think he’s probably suffered enough this past week, so I’ll let it slide. Maybe I will even make a blog post one day on the duties of being a K-pop Mascot if necessary.

Besides, Jungkook has enough on his plate since he has to worry about filming in a foreign country to be milked for more exploitative profit by BigHit who is only catering to his adoring fans who may or may not objectify him to the point that he is more of a dream boyfriend to be fetishized and fantasied about than being treated as an actual person. Oh, and he has to worry about those pesky tattoos on his hand and the best way to take them off considering the sentiment behind that didn’t age well.

But remember folks, this conspiracy was brought to you by a loser who has no idea what she’s talking about but I do know that:

1. It’s not cool to harass a rapper who just wanted to clarify the situation and then start a mini fanwar over something as shallow as looks and who can hate the other more.
2. It certainly isn’t okay to insult and harass the poor girl who was with Jungkook. Now, the two may not even have the want to hang out after this.
3. Forgetting that Jungkook or any idol is a person and needs and wants to relax, hang out with friends or a significant other is actually a good thing and not something that tears up your Wattpad fantasy is something you should reflect on deeply and return with a better image

 

You know what, let’s all do that. Reflect on yourselves and return with a better and more supportive image. As for me, I too will reflect deeply thinking how wrong I was to accuse Jungkook of being an imposter when clearly he wishes he was because than he’d be able to live the life of an average 22 year old. Then again, he could just end up rotting in the BigHit dungeon for daring to go against contract and disobeying the all powerful being who redefined K-pop, Bang Shi-hyuk. Let’s not let Jungkook end up like the real Hyuna who is apparently no longer with us.

So, let’s be on our best behavior before somebody in BTS cracks but that may be too much to ask of ARMYs right now especially when they are so busy with this pesky little concert next month and other very important matters.